Tony Gwynn, “Probably Unplayable”

Quite a headline, isn’t it? It’s the sort of thing you can’t ignore if you know anything about baseball. Things like, “It’s a sport,” and “It’s played on a big field,” and “The ball is round.”

But before we rip up the person who posted that particular gem, let me first note a change in today’s edition. For the editions centered around dumb Twitter posts I’ve been attaching the name “Educating Twitter” for quite a while now, and while I will continue to tag them that way for anyone who ever searches my archive for them, you’ll note that I didn’t include that in the title today. That’s for a couple of pretty basic reasons.

1. It was a passing reference to the movie Educating Rita, a 42-year old British film about a drunken professor trying to teach literature to a hairdresser. It has nothing whatsoever to do with baseball. It’s a cute movie, but it’s probably a joke that’s going over the heads of most baseball fans and seems like a good pun to retire.

2. Twitter isn’t Twitter anymore, and hasn’t been for quite some time. It’s now X, a singularly stupid name, one that replaced a perfectly good name apparently because the new owner has some sort of inexplicable fetish regarding the letter X. It’s as if a billionaire who loves peanut butter bought out Ferrari and decided that henceforth all cars they produce shall be known as Skippies or Jifs. I don’t want to be the old guy who goes online every few days and still refers to them as Ferraris.

Other than the title change, though, this series will continue because Twitter/X, for all its faults, still provides me with a seemingly inexhaustible supply of posts like this: